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Writer's pictureSarah Peachey

To the Tired Mama

We might not have met before, but I'm here to let you in on a tiny secret.


It isn't anything groundbreaking—not really. You may have heard it before.


Every day, when I scroll through my newsfeed, I see memes and articles on Mommy blogs that talk about how these early years of parenthood are fleeting.


And it's true.

In the blink of an eye, our children go from being stationary to walking. One day they're babbling and the next you're hearing real words. One day you're carrying them and the next you can't get close enough to hold them anymore. You're buckling them into their car seats, taking care to tighten the straps, and before you know it, they're latching themselves in and all you need to do is tighten it up.


Parenting is an ocean of emotions. These memes and Mommy blogs are telling us to soak it all up. These are the memory-making years because we only have our children for a short time.


But I'm tired.


The waves of parenthood sometimes jostle us around, making the rosy period of parenting . . . not so rosy.


Some of us struggle.


As a work-from-home mom and spouse of an active duty service member, I'm left with most of the child-rearing. It isn't easy being a solo-parent (single parents, you are the real MVPs). When I had the hard days, my mom always used to say, "Don't worry. It gets better."


I've been feeling a lot of stress and anxiety over the last month. It's gotten so bad that I've gotten physically sick. I do all the things people tell you to do to relieve stress: exercise, good diet, enough sleep, breathing exercises, music.


It isn't working. Not yet, anyway.


But one bout of sickness came today after a long day of breaking up fights, soothing hurt feelings, halting breakdowns. I managed it all.


But I really am tired. And you might be, too.


With regular life coming at you, it can be hard to always be "on" for your kids. The constant touching (if they haven't yet grown out of it), the long conversations, the pleas for help with any number of activities. You probably put down a lot of things to sit with your children, to give them that attention they seek.


You handle your duties, sometimes wondering why you have nice clothes in your closet since you don't ever seem to get to wear them anymore. And that hair dryer? It hasn't been plugged into an outlet in months. Your hair products may be at the bottom of a Rubbermaid container under your sink, covered up with bottles of dry shampoo, deodorant, and lotion, because you usually still have time for those.


But I'm here to tell you that it's OK to be tired, mama.


It's OK to be touched out at the end of the day, ready to tuck your little angels into their beds and have a moment to yourself.


It's OK to want to read just one chapter of your book while your kids play with a tablet or watch a movie.


It's OK to make breakfast for dinner because it's all the energy you can muster after a long day.


It's OK to be tired, mama.


It doesn't make you a bad parent. It doesn't make you lazy. It doesn't mean you're ignoring the important things in your child's life. It doesn't mean you lack parenting skills, even when you might sometimes question yourself. It doesn't mean you missed the parenting gene.


All those things the Mommy blogs say we should be doing with our kids? I bet you're doing them. But we simply can't be doing them all the time.


And our kids understand it.


Because you're still giving those big squeezes at drop-off and kisses on the cheek. You're still reading that worn bedtime story. You're still putting a toothy grin on your child's face by making pancakes into little shapes and cutting the crust off a PB&J.


You're still present. You're still listening. You're still supporting.


An article on a website can really make us second guess our actions, which is a good thing on occasion. Sometimes we really can be doing things better. But don't make that the standard.


The next time you're struggling after a parenting day from hell, where you feel like you made all the bad decisions, or you lost your cool too many times, ask your child to share the best thing that happened to them that day.


I bet you'll get an animated story told with a giant smile as they reminisce about a fun game they played with friends at school, about an art project they're working on, the field of chickens they saw on the drive home from school, the great dinner you made, the song you sang, the dance party you hosted after dinner.


And while you're tired and doubting yourself, your child hasn't thought a thing about it.


So take it easy, mama. As much as you can. You are making your children feel loved, and that is enough.


You aren't perfect. You might never be the kind of mom you see plastered on social media.


And that's OK, too.


You're trying, and you never give up trying.


It's OK to fall short sometimes.


One day, you're going to be watching your children with their own children. Your son or daughter may look at you and say, "Mom, I'm just so tired." And you'll respond:


"I've been there. It's OK to be tired. But it will all get better.


You'll see."

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